Here is my Throwback Thursday for the week.
In the seventh grade our school was on strike so some wonderful parents put together an end of the year trip for the grade seven’s. A wonderful idea and so thoughtful. Unfortunately they didn’t research the destination well because the establishment obviously hated children; not the best place for a bunch of pubescent pre-teens to explore for a week.
It looked so amazing on paper it was a ranch located about 7 hours from our town. They offered amazing spa treatments, excellent meals, horse-drawn carriage rides. A ton of amazing things, except if you’re a child. Then you get a hard bunk with a paper blanket in a cabin with 12 other children, the leavy meals when everyone else was done and you get to ride the horse your damn self.
We went on a hike everyday as there was nothing else for us to do. After a few days our lovely Chaperones decided we had suffered enough for being shitty pre-teens and took us to the park which we were obviously too cool for. At one point I found myself on the teeter-totter -this too would be short-lived and only enjoyed briefly. Boys, being the angels they are, decided I would attempt to fly. Without informing me one of them pushed down on my side of the teeter-totter as hard and they could and all 95lbs of me was launched into the air where I landed perfectly on the other side directly on my collarbone, knocking the wind out of me, damaging my pride beyond repair. The events knocked the wind out of me resulting in angelic sounds coming from me, while they tried to pick me up like nothing had happened. Catapult remorse I believe is the name for this. I did my best to be brave and cool like I obviously was. This didn’t last long and soon I was in a big yellow bus on my way to the hospital -my ego squeezing out the slide down windows as we drove.
At the hospital they told me that I possibly had a hairline fracture on my collar-bone but didn’t take x-rays -makes sense. They gave me a sling, some Tylenol 3s and told me to carry on. This truly just added to the joy of sleeping in bunks and hiking….
I was more than thankful as we made our way home. We stopped halfway home and stay in a hotel; we were all thrilled! I was high but mostly excited, but mostly also high. At this hotel they had a water slide which everyone was having a fantastic time enjoying…except for me.. I sat in the hot tub watching everyone having a time, looking miserable. A girlfriend of mine convinced me to go down the water slide and a group of them would catch me at the bottom so I wouldn’t drown. Excellent idea Liah! Weeee!
As a few friends waited at the bottom I made my way up with Liah whom checked with me before going down herself that I was good. I smiled with glee back at her so excited and slyly holding my arm so the slide attendant didn’t suspect anything. When I got the go ahead I lowered myself down into the slide and was off!
This slide in particular was completed covered as to give it a tunnel effect. In hindsight this may have saved my life.
As I made the first quick turn my joyous adventure took a turn for the worse. I heard the loudest echoing crack of my life and shortly after passed out.
God only knows what happened to my body in the remainder of my slide adventure but I came flying out backwards, head first, completely knocked out. Much to the horror of my friends waiting to “assist” me.. Assist me they did.
Thankfully I came-to the moment I hit the water. In complete shock I proceeded to grab my arm and pick it up as it was hanging limp by my side. I then ran through the hotel yelling for help as my friends stood and stared in horror.
One of the Chaperones took me to the hospital where I was in full shock, shaking, sweating, and nauseous. It was glorious, I waited over an hour to see a doctor for her to tell me I had torn the muscle under my collarbone and that was why my bone was sticking up like it was. She gave me a few more Tylenol 3’s and put me in another sling and sent me on my way. To date I have never been in more pain, I barely, if at all slept. I dreaded the ride home on that fucking school bus. We got about an hour into our three-hour trip home and I was sobbing. They let me ride in the van with the Chaperones…lame, but in all honestly I didn’t give a singe fuck. I have never been more thankful to be with a bunch of moms in a van. About 20 minutes into our drive we hit a crow the size of an eagle. Fuck me. Brakes, skidding, and screams -just what someone in extreme pain wants.
All I wanted was to be at home. I honestly thought this would somehow make my pain bearable and would bring joy back to my life. When we pulled into town my Grandpa was there to pick me up. Bless him. He brought his shitty old dodge that sounded and ran much like that of a tracker.. I wanted to die. He drove about 5km an hour home so I’d stop sobbing in pain.
The second I got home I hobbled to my mom and completely lost it at that point. Sobbing was now uncontrollable and she knew right away sometime was very wrong, it wasn’t just a muscle as I was beginning to look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame.
She took me to the doctor’s house; cause that’s what you do in small towns and he told me to go up to x-ray -it was definitely broken.
Now, let me point out that I had already been in two major hospitals neither of which took an x-ray..
They took x-rays and found out my collarbone was broken in two places and my shoulder was dislocated; likely from my acrobatics in the water slide. Weee!
Now, you haven’t experienced pain until a doctor puts your shoulder back into place with your collarbone broken.
My summer was completely ruined by the shoulder brace (yes shoulder brace take that in) and sling I had to wear for the remainder of the summer. Talk about humiliating.
I am still scared of teeter-totters…