Oh the blessed spandex pants -how you have saved my life, with all your fancy patterns and your beautiful simple black. What more can you ask for in life than to wear pants around that could easily be the same pants you slept in…(sigh) Life is good. However, leggings have ruined jeans for me; what the hell was I ever thinking squeezing myself to those restricting stem traps. Between leggings, yoga pants and my uniform -I wear on the daily- I am just a walking snack box. Jeans remind you that you are getting fat; leggings tell you you’re skinny and look great, so does that lovely loose fitting top you wear over them to cover you bum. Those lying assholes! Who knows what you’re hiding under there. Nothing will ruin your day like putting on a pair of jeans after wearing leggings for weeks straight. I always have a preconceived idea of what I am going to look like in jeans. The reality is never what I have concocted in my head. It goes something like this.

What I think I will looking like…

What I actually feel like…